Sugar and Candy
by EarthRiddle
Summary: Morgan finally gets to meet his brilliant tactician mother... and she's a rude dark mage with a penchant for drinking. Worse, she's not even married to his father, Gaius. What's a young man to do? Gaius/Female Avatar
1. Morgan's Mother

Obviously, my unit is not the avatar from the game. Her personality is much different.

* * *

The most important thing Morgan remembered about his mother, Vesper, was that she had a _big _personality. Morgan had heard a lot about Vesper: she had a temper and penchant for drinking that people only forgave because she was a brilliant tactician. Her tactics were legendary for being ballsy and risky, but somehow luck always worked out in her favor.

He wanted to be just like her, but this situation he was in now was… quite the pickle. He glanced around, Risen a thick ocean around him. He was one young man with only a few dark mage spells he had learned in order to be like his mother.

_I can do it! I can! _He got into what he thought would be a battle stance. His mom had seen worse, no impossible, odds and managed to get out alive. Now was his turn!

He would succeed! He would—

Pain wrenched his shoulder. His arm shook uncontrollably as blood poured down his sleeve. He glanced up, knowing he would see the ugly face of his attacker. Hell, maybe he'd be dead before he looked up. Either way—

"Are you stupid! One of you against an army of Risen?" A woman glared at him, her thick lips pursed.

"Mom!" Morgan's face lit up.

The woman turned to a red-haired man beside her. "Did he just call me mom?"

The red-haired man laughed.

"It's not funny, Gaius!" She stared at the boy. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Well… you're my mom." He smiled at her cheerfully. "Vesper! You're my mom, Vesper!"

"Shit…." She kicked the ground.

* * *

Gaius never ceased to be amused by Morgan. Vesper was pretty sure Morgan was just a disappointment sent to make her miserable. She barely recognized the boy as her future son. She was in complete denial. This made the war meeting rather frustrating for everyone involved.

Vesper explained her strategy for the next battle, explaining who should pair with whom (and oddly most of these pairing proceeded to marry later). Morgan piped in every so often, trying to keep up with Vesper's brilliant, if risky, strategy.

"You are so good at this, mom." Morgan stared at her wide-eyed. "You're like a hero except you're angry all the time and you drink a lot."

"I'm too young and beautiful to be your mother!"

Morgan was unfazed. "Guess what, mom?"

Vesper tapped her fingers on the table where the whole group sat gathered. She sighed. "You aren't prepared for how little I give a fuck."

Gaius sat back, examining the look of fear on the boy's face. He felt bad that Morgan was the victim of Vesper's acid temper, but it _was _sort of funny. He pulled a lollipop out his cloak and proceeded to smack on it as he watched the free show.

Chrom tried to come in as the mediator, something Gaius knew would only escalate the situation. "Vesper, that's really uncalled for, especially towards your son," Chrom said.

"Who's my son? I never had or will have a son," she said. "And who's your daddy supposed to be, kid? Who knocks me up in _the future _so I can cut their balls off _now_?"

"Ahm, well…. " The boy pointed at Gaius.

The lollipop dropped from the thief's mouth. Total silence followed. There was no doubt… the boy _did _look an awful lot like him, which only made Gaius writhe in his seat more. "Hold on! You can't just be pointing your fingers and making accusations like that at just anyone." He picked the lollipop up and dusted it off. No way was he wasting good sugar.

"Can we please not turn this meeting into a family counseling session?" Frederick said.

"Yeah… let's just end this meeting, okay?" Gaius stood up. "I have candy to eat… somewhere else. Important candy."

Before anyone could stop him Gaius left the room, stopping only when he came to the Shepherd's barracks. He flopped on his bunk, hands behind his head. The lollipop didn't taste so sweet.

"Hey…." Vesper's voice rang from beside him. "So… awkward, right?"

"A little, Bubbles. I didn't know I had an illegitimate _future _child running around. I mean, maybe a few present illegitimate—"

She huffed in a way that told him to shut up. "We had sex _once, _remember?"

"Bubbles, that isn't something a man forgets."

"The point is that then this little brat comes around. He's awkward and clumsy and irritating… _and he claims he's mine. _So what I'm trying to say is that your genes are what ruined him."

He laughed. "I guess our secret's out now, huh? Everyone knows that Bubbles got it on with Gaius."

"I was drunk!"

"You're always drunk!" He laughed heartily. "You expect me to know the difference, sugar?"

"Oh please. Don't you see what I'm trying to get at?" She glanced aside, eyes narrowed. "Either we get down again or I'm pregnant now. I must be pregnant now, because I would never get down with you again."

"You're a spoonful of sugar." He rolled his eyes. "You're not pregnant now."

"No," she admitted. "Of course, I have no _idea _how'd you know that!"

"Read it on your face. And, besides, if you were pregnant you'd be trying to extort me for it or something."

"You are awful."

"So are you."

She hissed. "So it means that sometime later we must have sex again."

"Seems so." He wasn't concerned. The future was in the future. He'd just lie here and enjoy the present for what it was. "Wanna start now?"

"I can things of a million things I'd rather do!" She turned away, cloak trailing on her tall heels. "And, besides, now that I've been warned that I'll get knocked up if we do it again I think I'll choose chastity."

"Won't work."

"Why not!?"

"You're not a chaste sort of girl. You like sugar as much as I do."

"Oh, shove that lollipop where the sun never shines and twist."

He started giggling at the image this conjured.

"Hmph!" And she was gone.


	2. Morgan's Mother isn't Stable

Morgan's feet ached. His legs shook from all the marching. The other Shepherds had no problem with the pace Chrom maintained for his army, but Morgan had always focused more on tactics and strategy than the realities of battle like, oh, marching. Not just any marching, either. Marching in endless sand. Sand that got in his boots and ground against his heels. Sand that even got under his eye lids. Still, it was worth it, because at the head of the army beside Chrom was Vesper. The sun shone in her blonde hair. The wind picked up the edges her black robe. She was tall, a dark mage nobody would want to mess with.

It didn't even matter that she seemed to be caught in an animated argument with Chrom, as she so often was.

"You should come into formation sober," Chrom said. "It's not doing anyone any good if our tactician is drunk."

"Ugh, I am sober. That's the problem. If I was drunk you wouldn't even be commenting," Vesper replied.

"I think you might have a genuine problem, Miss Vesper," Frederick said, back so stiff and straight that Morgan wondered how he didn't get stuck that way.

"Yes, I do. I'm sober. Thank you for reminding me."

"Giving yourself so regularly to drink nulls your senses," Frederick continued. "It makes you less capable. Imagine what you'd be able to do if you weren't an alcoholic."

Vesper rolled her eyes. "Gaius has a sugar problem! Anybody going to bitch at him about it?! Hah? Hah?!"

"No need to be so crude," Maribelle said.

"Mom! Mom!" Morgan waved and rushed forward to his mother's side. "Don't let anyone else tell you what to do, because you are awesome just the way you are! Sure, you're an alcoholic. Sure, you're rude, mean and sometimes we have to go find your unconscious body in alley ways late at night. Sure, most people don't like you. But, the thing is, mom, you are _awesome."_

She shook her head. "Would you guys lay off? Seriously. I'm trying to come up with a brilliant strategy in my head… even though my head is sort of fuzzy right now. So if you would step back and let me _strategize_."

Morgan tried moving people away from her. "That's right! Step back and let her strategize!"

Morgan barely noticed her hot glare on his back, but for once she didn't say anything to him.

* * *

Gaius squinted into the hot sun. "It's about midday. We better travel faster if we're going to take those bastards from Valm down in time."

"How is mom going to deal with warships? Man, she can defeat anything!"

"Never met a braver woman," he agreed. "Flawed, but brilliant."

"I've always respected her."

"Is she much different in the future?"

"Yeah." Morgan toyed with the sleeves of his robes. "For one, she loves me. She's proud of me. She calls me her 'over eager little puppy.' Pup for short. She's... Mother..." He stared into the distance. "Why doesn't she love me now? I'm trying so hard."

"Don't try as hard. If you love her, you have to act like you don't. She likes to think she can maintain distance from people."

"So you're only acting like you don't love her?"

"It's… complicated." The thief winced. "Not something I really want to discuss with my future son."

"I understand. She's complicated and difficult sometimes." Morgan smiled, and Gaius was mildly surprised by the wisdom the boy showed. "She does love you. I know because she told me in the future. Like, she doesn't say it all the time, but she's not that kind of person."

"So we're together in the future, huh?" This mildly troubled the man.

"Well… mostly." Morgan searched for the words. "You two are on and off. One minute you're fighting and she's declaring divorce and the next you're planning your sixth wedding."

"Bubbles is an emotional wreck. Doesn't surprise me."

"Well, the fights usually resolve themselves when you bake her a cake!" The boy paused. "You look different in the future. You have a scruffy beard. She calls you a lumberjack."

"Look," Gaius said. "There's no way I'm ever going to end up with that woman. I don't trust her. She's unpredictable. I don't _need _that insanity in my life. And lumberjack? Not in a million years."

"Things change, dad! People change! You'll see."

Gaius frowned. "I really hope not."


End file.
